Conversations with this woman

I try to impart knowledge to my friend. I have known him for seven years and his response can still occasionally surprise me.

Dorisa: “Did you know there used to be a species of Dragonfly with a three-foot wind span? Isn't that terrifying?”

Dan: “That would be awesome. I’d harness them and make a sky chariot.”

Dorisa: “That is the wrong answer.”

While confirming my knowledge of this creature I also learned that there was an eight foot tall sea scorpion with an eighteen inch long claw. Not cool. I love to learn. If I can’t get a job in architecture I would like to learn things. Can anyone pay me to learn things? This week I thought it would be crazy fun to flip houses for a living. I also thought about how impossible that would be with absolutely no money.

It has been an amazingly glorious week. We have gone on many walks to enjoy the sunshine and we have also been in search of a baby swing at a playground. Our four mile walk on Friday included three parks. None had a baby swing. I found this annoying. I figure someone sued someone and now they have gone the way of the merry-go-round and the teeter totter. I thought about saying something about natural selection and the stupidity of some people, but decided that it was too crass and insensitive. I found it pretty neat that there were so many parks so close to our house though.

There is a park that has a slide coming out of a polar bear’s mouth that we went by on Saturday just to see where it was. We were kind of by it after picking up something from the hospital so I thought it was worth a shot.  It doesn't seem like it’s in a very good neighborhood. Or rather, it seems like it’s in a terrible neighborhood. This needs further investigation before I decide if we go there to play or not. I hate to judge a book by its cover, but covers are supposed to give an indication of the content so it can’t be dismissed all together.

In fact, a huge part of marketing books is fitting the cover to the content and drawing people in because the cover looks so good. Rarely does an actual book cover look bad and that is often what the saying is telling us. I don’t think I've ever heard “That looks awesome!” “Well you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.” What a pessimistic person that would be. So since this neighborhood had nothing making it look good, maybe I’m judging it by its guts. Sorry if no one followed that. It made sense to me, but then again I am very tired. To sum up, I don't think that phrase is good anymore.

Another saying that I can actually educate you all on is the phrase, “That person is not worth their salt.” Many of you may know that salt used to be as valuable as gold. At one point, people were actually paid for their work in salt, which is where the word ‘salary’ comes from now.

As we near the end of our time in Alaska, I have been trying to tidy things up so that when Dan leaves he doesn't have to spend five days cleaning. I have a lot left that I want to do, mainly the shower door.

Dan: “The only thing I’m worried about is the shower door. Luckily it’s frosted so it’s probably worse than it looks.”

Dorisa: “What?”

Dan: “The glass is frosted.”

Dorisa: “No it’s not.”

Dan: “Crap.”

It may not be frosted, but it is bumpy. I don’t understand why they make shower glass bumpy. If you don’t want to be seen in the shower, then don’t let people into the bathroom while you’re showering. It seems no one gave any consideration to the impossible task of cleaning these stupid doors. Plus, I do not find them aesthetically pleasing. Not to sound like a rain cloud, but this is what one would call a lose-lose situation.

Ice out on our tiny lake-pond occurred Friday, May 24. That was stupid late.

I had a crazy idea the other day that it would be fun to grow some wheat and make a loaf of bread truly from scratch. This morphed into also growing peppers, tomatoes, garlic, basil, oregano, and onions, and also making my own pasta noodles from scratch. I would buy eggs for the noodles. I don’t want chickens. I just think it would be fun to see how much work it is. I would also like to churn some butter. Anyone got a cow?

Dan: “So is that going to be your summer project?”

Dorisa: “No, I won’t be able to get the wheat in on time… Wow. That is something I never thought I would say.”

Dan: "Somewhere you ancestors just smiled and they don't know why."

Oskar is on a disturbing trend. He seems to want to be awake when the sun is up. This would be fine in decent places, but we aren't in decent places are we, precious? I’m joking, Alaska is very decent, I just wanted to use that line and the sun up here is messed up. Today the official sunrise time was 4:46 AM and sunset will be at 11:09 PM but it is light-ish before and after those times. It is incredibly disorienting and wakes up my baby. As much fun as it is to get up and play at 4:45, I think I’ll pass.

I heard a funny line yesterday. “Summer in Alaska is beautiful. It’s a bummer if you have to work that weekend.”

Sometimes Dan talks to me about preaching. Sometimes I have nothing to say in response to him so I change the subject.

Dan: “Lose at seminary gives the advice that if you have to preach on the Holy Trinity, don’t. It’s too hard to explain.

Dorisa: “Did you know that traditional jelly beans are all the same on the inside?”

Dan: “What?!?”

Dorisa: “Yea, all the flavoring is in the coating. Three layers worth.”

Dan: “My mind is blown!”

It's fairly simple to get someone with ADD to change the subject.

In other news, I watched a Modern Marvels marathon that included Salt, Milk and Wheat and an episode of Factory Made that talked about jelly beans. Could you tell? Modern Marvels is a good show, but sometimes the title throws me off. I understand that Modern Marvels is about modern applications of various things, but hearing “Today on Modern Marvels: Dirt” sounds a bit oxymoronic to me. It was good for a chuckle though.